In honor of the newfound popularity of “alternative facts,” I could not help but entertain a re-envisioning of recent climate news through the lens of alternative facts:

Following years of questioning climate science and humans’ contributions to global climate change, Republican leaders across the country this week recanted, confessing they really had no good reason to continue the ruse. “Sure, it was fun for a while—convincing people that up was down, black was white, and so on—but eventually we felt kind of bad about it,” one lawmaker said. “Of course humans are driving climate change. Serious climate scientists are all but unanimous on the issue. We just liked getting reelected.”

Another leader took a more somber tone. “Somehow we just let the politics of climate change get away from us,” she said. “We clearly lost our moral compass on this, but that now that we have the Presidency and both houses of Congress of course that has to change.”

“I mean, we’re not evil,” chimed one.

The about-face came as Republicans grew humbled by their new responsibility to actually govern. They declared, en masse, that they would earn the forgiveness of the American public and the world by leading on climate with the vigor the problem demands.

As a result, a long list of unsettling possibilities never happened:

• The nominee to head the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is not someone who dedicated much of his career to fighting the EPA and its mission, nor someone who repeatedly declined to be forthright with his views of humans’ impact on climate change;

• Nor is EPA’s transition team drawn from oil industry groups and other groups hostile to environmental stewardship;

• Nor were EPA employees directed to scrub the Agency’s climate change page from its website, freeze grants, and cease all outside communications;

• The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) did not cancel an upcoming climate conference without explanation;

• The Department of State is not set to be helmed by the former chief of Exxon Mobil Corporation;

• The President did not greenlight to two massive pipeline projects to establish new, long-term fossil fuel infrastructure;

• The new Administration did not hit pause on a range of efficiency standards ready for release;

• Climate deregulation bluster from the new Administration has not prompted Columbia Law School to put together a Climate Deregulation Tracker; and

• This list could not go on for many more bullets detailing other unsettling possibilities that “never happened.”

Back to actual facts: Of course, these alternative facts describe an alternative universe—one where reason and moral rectitude still anchor a sense of duty to look out for the greater good, regardless of political party.

We live in a world of actual facts and actual consequences. “Orwellian” should remain an adjective for fiction. As the new government reveals more and more of its intentions and tactics, resist regression and push for progress, wherever you can.

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